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My Boyfriend is A Dragon (Web Novel) - Chapter 5: Real-Life Shunga

Chapter 5: Real-Life Shunga

This chapter is updated by Wuxia.Blog

Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

Real-Life Shunga 1


Xu Lan suddenly felt as though something swallowed him whole, similar to how a python would swallow a person whole. It was damp and dark, and along with the slowly subsiding peristalsis of the intestine, its dense inner cavity constricted around him and squeezed out every single bit of air that remained in his lungs.

At that moment, Xu Lan abruptly remembered the boy who was sleeping right beside him!

The inner cavity was sticking to him like a layer of loose fat. He was unable to move, but he exerted all of his strength to retract his arms and find out if the child was doing alright.

“Little buddy?” He forced out a sentence, and with great effort, he continued to feel for the child. No answer. Could it be yet another dream? The sensation seemed too real, and with the feeling of suffocation, it felt as though the God of Death was waving at him.

Suddenly, the boy – who was in Xu Lan’s embrace – moved. The kid did not appear to be sleeping soundly. He mumbled a few incoherent words and eased himself into a comfortable position – one where he could hug Xu Lan – and continued sleeping.

‘Thank God, thank God. It was only just a dream,’ Xu Lan thought. With that, his consciousness began relaxing once more, but then the surrounding appeared to pick up on his lack of alertness. In a much more violent manner than before, the pressure immediately swept him on his feet.

Impossible! Xu Lan opened his eyes wide! It was not a dream! He could not help but vividly feel that suffocating pain. He could even feel Bai Wu’s body warmth, not to mention the urgent and sufferable breathing sounds made by the boy!

With the power akin to that of an infant sucking milk out of its mother’s breast 2 , Xu Lan embraced the child and vigorously fended himself. If the situation remained out of his control, he could die there. Whatever it was that exerted pressure the on him seemed to be a living thing, capable of feeling Xu Lan’s resistance. First, the thing relaxed, but immediately after that it went berserk and started coming onto him with all its might.

Its strength was not something a mortal body could endure, for it was like the combination of lightning and thirty thousand catties worth of force. Xu Lan used all his might to turn his body so that the boy would be protected. Like a mantis trying to stop a chariot 3 , Xu Lan simply wanted to give the boy a chance at reprieve from death.

After all, Bai Wu was still a kid.

Then came a loud thud as they landed on the floor. While still hugging the boy, Xu Lan did not expect that the inner cavity would expel them out, as if they were an indigestible piece of stone.

Pressure from the surroundings started to dissipate and Xu Lan’s lungs began to expand once again. He felt like a fish taking huge breaths of air after being thrown back into the water. His breaths were so deep they produced bellow-like sounds. Aside from clutching the child, he did not dare to move – not even the tip of his finger.

Oh, the pain! It was like a heart-piercing, bone-chilling pain! It was equivalent to being crushed by a steamroller. It felt like all of his bones had shattered, brittle to the point where the wind could shatter them if not for the skin that held everything together.

“Hey, little buddy! Little buddy, wake up!” Xu Lan wanted to make sure the boy was okay. Despite the vigorous events that had happened, the boy was still sound asleep. If Xu Lan was not panting, he might have thought that the boy had…

“Ugh… Papa?” The boy finally spoke, albeit with a blank and blurry expression.

“I’m here.” Then the room became deathly silent, so much so that Xu Lan wondered if the exchange he had with Bai Wu was merely an illusion.

Bai Wu suddenly leaped up and tightly hugged Xu Lan’s neck, burying his head just under Xu Lan’s jaw. Beads of tears collected on the Xu Lan’s shoulder and beneath his neck.

“Haha, what’s the matter? Why is our strong little man crying like this, hm?” asked Xu Lan. He pretended to be relaxed, but the truth of the matter was that he could not even bring himself to stretch his hand and comfort Bai Wu.

“I thought…I thought I was left all alone again, and I couldn’t find –”

He was cut off by the sound of a lovely voice in the midst of playful protest.

“Oh damn, stop it! What are you doing?”

Xu Lan immediately covered Bai Wu’s mouth and hugged the boy, carrying him to the corner of the room. After swiftly doing that, he collapsed against the wall and scanned the place.

It was a living room that seemed pretty normal despite it’s messiness. There were clothes, shoes, and junk food all around the place. It could be deduced that the place belonged to a woman. Two sofas and an LCD TV were present, in addition to some indoor plants. A toffee chair managed to hide Xu Lan’s figure just nicely. In the spirit of ‘ I would rather rip off the roof of ten temples than break a marriage 4 ‘, Xu Lan drew the child close to himself.

“F*ck you!” The woman’s parched mocking voice melded with the urgent sound of her delicate laughter.

Soon after, wet kissing sounds – obviously unsuitable for a child’s ears – could be heard coming from the entrance hall. A mortified Xu Lan was left fumbling, unsure if he should use his hands to cover Bai Wu’s eyes or ears.

The clack of heels landing on the floor as they were taken off, the muffled grunts reverbing from bodies against the wall, the overcautious and trembling voices – a pair of nervous yet excited sweethearts with their staggers and stumbles left nothing to the imagination. Under the cover of darkness, their stimulated mental state became all the clearer.

Though Xu Lan was an adult man, he had never seen such a scenario before. It was a completely different experience from sitting on his sofa and watching those kinds of films! He felt a lump forming in his throat, while by then his face was already flushed.

Those wet smooches were interspersed with the sound of clothes coming off, followed by a swoosh as those garments hitting the floor. Then came the sound of two bodies colliding with one another. Xu Lan may have regarded his hearing as lousy, but on that occasion, the slightest movement could be heard with utmost clarity.

His ears picked up on each sound: the naughty giggles, the controlled display of masculinity, and the resounding tones of passion. Xu Lan deduced that from the looks of it, the couple could have been in a long-distance relationship. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder. In the midst of everything that was happening, making deductions was all Xu Lan could do to distract himself.

To spare the child from suffering, Xu Lan covered the boy’s ears. The air seemed to have turned sickly sweet as a result of the passionate sounds that were being produced. Xu Lan’s whole body began to heat up. Xu Lan was a man after all, so one could only imagine the ordeal he had to go through!

Xu Lan then thought, ‘If it were me, would I have done the same? Would I have dived right in and immediately got down to business?’ Ever since that man entered the place, only one sentence was spoken. The rest were softly produced grunts and groans that struggled to be controlled.

Bit by bit, Xu Lan’s strength began to recover, but even if the couple were in the midst of passion, he might not be able to leave the area. With ears constantly covered by a pair of hands, the uneasy Bai Wu leaned himself against Xu Lan’s body, and since the Xu Lan’s hands were occupied, there was no way to pat the boy and comfort him. The only recourse was to lower his head near to the boy’s ears and utter soft words of reassurance.



After having a blissful release, they became quiet. Xu Lan missed the best opportunity to leave and had no choice but to wait until the couple fell asleep.

“Where are you going?” asked the puzzled woman. Her voice was languid and hoarse by then.

“I’m getting something from outside.” The man’s steady voice sounded from behind Xu Lan. His tone seems to mask the fact that he had just finished making love.

The woman did not respond. Soon the door opened, and with a flick of a switch, the whole room lit up as if it was daytime!

Things were getting worse! Xu Lan reached out to cover Bai Wu’s eyes, proceeding to curl up as much as he can. If he was found out, no amount of mouths could explain and alleviate the situation he was in!

Fortunately, the man did not go to where Xu Lan was but headed to the entrance instead. After getting God-knows-what, the lights were switched off again and the man entered the bedroom. Xu Lan breathed a sigh of relief; he thought that as he comforted the boy, he had been found out.

“Hey! HEY! What the f*ck are you doing?” came the woman’s surprised and trembling voice. Xu Lan sneered and raised his eyebrows. The couple sure had a lot of energy.

“Shh, don’t be scared. It’s not going to be painful. Trust me.” Did Xu Lan just hear a touch of excitement in that man’s repressed voice?

“NO NO! Don’t come closer! Don’t you dare come any closer!” Surprise quickly turned into fear. Her voice broke off slightly at the end. All the flirtatious and sentimental tones had quickly vanished.

Thump! ‘The girl must have fallen out the bed,’ Xu Lan thought. He could not help but wonder what exactly the man was holding, to be able to strike such fear into the woman.

His train of thought drifted to that of his usual walks back home, where he would always pass by an unmanned vending machine in one corner. The machine was filled with all kinds of sex toys. He then remembered the one time he arrested a filthy old pervert. The geezer was old and weak, and yet he was capable of using a variety of toys to inhumanely torment a young girl.

At the mere thought of all that, Xu Lan’s face looked as though it had been painfully scalded with boiling water! Every cell in his body was riled up to an even greater extent than before!

“Hey, I said don’t be scared!” The man grudgingly picked up his partner and dumped her on the bed.

“No! You’re crazy! Let go of me! I’ll call the police! I swear I’ll do it! Don’t touch me!” It was likely that she had been tied up. She would shout, and then her mouth would be covered. The word police seemed to have given her some strength.

“Ah! Ngg…nggg…ng” The man stuffed her mouth with something and ignored her cries.

“So beautiful.” Excitement to the point of delirium could be sensed in the man’s voice. Xu Lan was fuming up inside. Nevertheless, he had to keep himself in control.


“Look at these beautiful eyes. These red lips. This sexy collarbone, hehe…” Xu Lan could feel the man’s fingers touching the woman. First her mesmerizing eyes, then brushing over her vermillion lips, and toward her delicate collarbone.

Shifting his gaze down, Xu Lan’s eyes were reddened. Shifting downward a bit more, he could feel his whole body burning!

All of a sudden, he faintly caught a whiff of what smelled like blood. It was coming out from the crack of the door. Why was there the stench of blood?

Xu Lan then came to the realization: since when did the young lady become so quiet? What if the guy’s hobby was the same as that perverted old man!

As he slowly stood up, the smell of blood in the house became stronger and stronger. It was too hard to bear and he stumbled as a result.

“Papa!” called out a nervous Bai Wu.


“Who’s there!” The man kicked the door and walked out once he heard the boy’s soft voice. He reached for the light switch.

With the light now shining bright, a dizzy Xu Lan tried his best to open his eyes. A crisp pair of suit pants was the first thing to be seen. Then, he saw the man who wore those pants, whose right-hand held a bloody scalpel!

Just when Xu Lan had wanted to lift his head up to see who was so brave and utterly heartless to do such a thing, a shirt immediately covered his head.

“Heh? Buy one, get one free? This is a good deal,” said the man in a low cold voice.

“HAH! My friend, you seem really confident!” The hand that Xu Lan previously used to hug the child secretly held the shirt and swiped it off. He then threw it toward the man and caught the man off guard. Xu Lan’s robust figure followed suit immediately after.

A loud bang was all that could be heard. Beneath Xu Lan’s feet was a pile of newspaper, and the child fell flat on the floor. For some reason, the scene changed – Xu Lan fell into an icehouse that was penetratingly cold. It was ice-cold water all around him, and the temperature pierced through muscle and bone.

Xu Lan went mental! He did not know how or why such a scenario would appear! Moments before, it was clearly a small room. How then, could he find himself in an icehouse simply because he slipped?! The cold reached his muscles and rapidly lowered his body temperature. A chaotic numbness began to set in.

“Papa…” At that point, the little one cried out and frantically went to hug Xu Lan. His previously stirred-up brain rapidly regained consciousness!

No! He was not in the best condition at that time, and adding to that was a child that he needed to take care of.

He did his best to find a way out, and as he was doing so, he faintly heard the boy say: “I’m sorry, Papa.”

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